I Don't Handle Goodbyes Well....

For a while now I haven't had the opportunity to write in my blog...

One thing that I've found out from this is that, whenever I am happy with my surroundings (be it work friends, family, social life etc), I don't write... But whenever I am sad, disturbed or feeling down... And I feel as if, I don't have anyone to talk to... I would always come back to this blog to write...

Many things had happened... in this last couple of months...
- I've got a new job that I like...
- My application to change from MBA to MMgt has been accepted...
- I've finally moved to a better apt...
- One of my best sister is back in KL
- I've been offered for a better career advancement...
- etc...

That all I can handle well (mostly)... But I never do well with parting...
I can never say goodbye to people that I've known... be friends with... had fun with... trusted... loved... etc

Sometimes... I feel so tired of keeping my feelings, hiding my tears... being composed all the times...
Sometimes... I want people to know, I am not that weak, but nevertheless I am human... I cry too...
Sometimes... I just don't want people to always assume that I am strong...
Sometimes... I need a shoulder to cry on too...

A while ago... we've all lost a very dear friend... Allahyarham Rudi Yanto Abdullah... I am not as close to him as others might be... But the image of his face is still stuck in my head... Not the image of him looking sick... But the happy-go-lucky him... The cheerful him... The funny him...

I don't handle goodbyes well... I am always afraid of losing those who are dear to me...
Although he wasn't a very2 close friend... nevertheless, his departing had affected me a great deal...
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately... And I thank him for that...
I thank him dearly for making me reflect back on life...

Abg Rudi, may Allah bless you. You had been a very strong source of inspiration and guidance. A lot have u achieved in a short span of time on earth. You have left a great memory behind. You proved to be a worthy khalifah of Allah. I shall remember you dearly.

Thank You for everything.

Ya Allah, Engkau rahmatilah sahabatku ini, abgku ini, saudaraku ini...Al-Fatihah