~Friendship~

To meet to know, and then part...
Is the saddest tale of the human heart...
Eventhough we are far apart...
I'll always remember our friendship in my heart...
Where ever you may be...
I'll always remmber thee...

Friendship is the only cement...
That can hold the world together...

It's sad to see that as time passess by, all of ur close friends, gangs, team members, study group, 'lepak' group, 'gila-gila' group etc starts to go their own ways... Some are nowhere to be found... some just can't be contacted... some have started their own families... some are way too busy to even talk or sms... some are going places... some are already all over the world... it's just sad that all these people don't even bother to keep in touch anymore...

Last saturday, i've had the opportunity to spend some time with our dearest Gamelan trainer. He too was telling me how frustrated he is with the rest of his students (or shall I say ex-students) who don't even have the courtesy to even say hi or ask how he was doing. Well, dah nama pun students kan, sepatutnya hargailah ilmu yg dah dapat from chekgu tu by showing that u still care kan. But no... these people couldn't even care less...

Then again, that's not what I want to write about. Yes I am sad that everyone had chosen their own paths. But what to do. They do not see the importance of having to 'care' for your relationships with your friends. They have yet to realize the importance of keeping in touch with you friends even after u've graduated, worked or even have a family.

True, time spent with friends will be lesser, but that doesn't mean that u should just throw ur friends aside... Friends come and go. And lately... all I see that many of mine are all going... well some do try to keep in touch... I appreciate that. But some ...i guess they just don't care about what their friends must have been feeling.

I don't cope well with goodbyes... and the past 1 year, all I've been seeing is people saying goodbye. And now, one more is also saying goodbye... this dear friend of mine (although this friend has caused so many heartaches and is just unbearable at times...this friend is still a dear friend)...

Dear friend... u've been a lot of help... u've been one of the person i'd turn to for advice... for guidance... not having you around will definitely be a lost for me... I'm soooooooo not good with words. How am I supposed to say that u've made an impact in my life by being my friend. That i will miss you dearly. How do I say all that without people around us thinking of 'something' else. How am I supposed to say all that and emphasize that it's all brotherly sisterly love....

I don't know whether i'll be able to tell you all these before you go. Dear friend, u've been an asset in my life. I appreciate u being my friend.

Thank you for everything...

I Don't Handle Goodbyes Well....

For a while now I haven't had the opportunity to write in my blog...

One thing that I've found out from this is that, whenever I am happy with my surroundings (be it work friends, family, social life etc), I don't write... But whenever I am sad, disturbed or feeling down... And I feel as if, I don't have anyone to talk to... I would always come back to this blog to write...

Many things had happened... in this last couple of months...
- I've got a new job that I like...
- My application to change from MBA to MMgt has been accepted...
- I've finally moved to a better apt...
- One of my best sister is back in KL
- I've been offered for a better career advancement...
- etc...

That all I can handle well (mostly)... But I never do well with parting...
I can never say goodbye to people that I've known... be friends with... had fun with... trusted... loved... etc

Sometimes... I feel so tired of keeping my feelings, hiding my tears... being composed all the times...
Sometimes... I want people to know, I am not that weak, but nevertheless I am human... I cry too...
Sometimes... I just don't want people to always assume that I am strong...
Sometimes... I need a shoulder to cry on too...

A while ago... we've all lost a very dear friend... Allahyarham Rudi Yanto Abdullah... I am not as close to him as others might be... But the image of his face is still stuck in my head... Not the image of him looking sick... But the happy-go-lucky him... The cheerful him... The funny him...

I don't handle goodbyes well... I am always afraid of losing those who are dear to me...
Although he wasn't a very2 close friend... nevertheless, his departing had affected me a great deal...
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately... And I thank him for that...
I thank him dearly for making me reflect back on life...

Abg Rudi, may Allah bless you. You had been a very strong source of inspiration and guidance. A lot have u achieved in a short span of time on earth. You have left a great memory behind. You proved to be a worthy khalifah of Allah. I shall remember you dearly.

Thank You for everything.

Ya Allah, Engkau rahmatilah sahabatku ini, abgku ini, saudaraku ini...Al-Fatihah